A Place For My Stuff!

inothernews:

• Get out of your car
• and empty the contents of your gas tank into a canister
• and take that canister to the nearest refinery
• and have them convert your gasoline into the petroleum it previously was
• and have them transport said petroleum back to its point of origin
• (if it came via pipeline, have the pipeline operator reverse flow and send it back that way;
• if it came via cargo ship, have them place your petroleum into one of the tanks aboard and send that ship back)
• and once at point of origin, have them transport your oil back to the well from which it was extracted
• (if said well is beneath the ocean surface and under the sea floor, then please ensure the re-introduction of your petroleum to said well is done carefully so as not to upset the already endangered ocean environment — just ask the Gulf of Mexico, sigh!;
• if said well is the oil sands region of Canada, ensure you mix said sand and other particulates well into the petrol for that nice, non-sweet crude viscosity;
• if said well is in a region of the world that is currently under threat of governmental instability and / or war, then, um, make sure your oil crew is wearing bulletproof vests, we guess?  That’s up to you)
• and oh yeah, beware of the ability of major natural disasters like the earthquake / tsunami that struck Japan to upend whatever domestic energy policies your and other countries may have and cause a ripple effect on oil prices worldwide
• not to mention those pesky speculators trading in commodities like oil — those guys are greedy bastards who don’t actually USE the oil they buy and hoard!  But shhhhhhh, no one needs to know that
• and then and only then should you feel free to blame any one individual on the face of the Earth for the rise in oil and gas prices, but make especially sure it’s the current President of the United States
• okay, dumbass?

I’d also like to add that gas doesn’t seem unusually expensive right now. It’s not cheap, but I’ve been driving since 2003 and I can’t remember ever paying less than $2 for a gallon of gas…maybe once or twice, but to me gas has always been in the $2.50-$4 range. Maybe I’m remembering incorrectly?